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Hey sweetie this is katie im so sorry for your loss and no words will ever be enough to take the hurt in pain away when you lost him you also lost a part of your self you see things in a different way and the what if's or could things have been different sweety its not going to make you feel any better only worse... I am so sorry for your loss he was a beautiful baby boy just know he is with jasmine playing his heart out hold your other children they will help you get though it love all ways katie if you need anything or even want to talk you can send me a message